I thought I understood what compromise really means, but having a child is giving me a whole new perspective. On one hand I am making compromises left and right. The dishes are “clean enough.” I’m finishing my master’s but I’m not sure that the final product will be as good as it could have been under other circumstances. When I was preparing a presentation I realized that the wording on one of the slides would make more sense if it was changed, but that required me being able to go upstairs and work on the PC – a feat that I was not sure I could accomplish with LP awake in the mere 30 minutes I had. So, the wording remained and life continued. I also have soy formula on hand, though I have not had to use it yet. Unfortunately, I have not found any true vegan formula out there since almost all of them have vitamin D3 in them, which is derived from non-vegan sources. So, while my diet (and therefore LP’s) is strictly vegan, we have the formula just in case we need it – one more compromise I have made. On the flip side, there are many areas where we are not compromising what is really important to us. I’m breastfeeding even though it is sometimes painful and inconvenient. LP will not be going to daycare, even thought that means I’m going without pay for a few months and then we will be living on a teacher’s salary. I have found myself wondering more in the past few days (after seriously compromising my desires to have LP on a nap schedule) what other compromises we will make that we never expected, and also what principles we will find ourselves totally unwilling to compromise on. Only time will tell.
As I just mentioned, at the pediatrician’s suggestion I have been trying to get LP to take more naps both on a schedule and in a crib. Suffice to say this was a failed experiment for both of us. So, in the interest of getting LP to get enough sleep, he is still sleeping in his swing occasionally, although we always try putting him in his crib or pack n’ play first. This week LP has started to want to interact even more. When we are playing with him he is happy, but when we leave he starts throwing a fit. This can be irritating, but on the other hand it is exciting that he is wanting to interact more and that he is starting to acknowledge us as more than just diaper changers and food sources. As one of my friends reminded me he is still in the “fourth trimester” and so it is fine to cuddle him, rock him, and do whatever he needs – we are certainly not spoiling him! Although I have explained to him that we can play, but he has to be willing to watch Glee with me on Wednesdays as well. So far he seems to be fine with that.