Recently, I was talking to another hard-working mom (who has three kids) about some work issues when we suddenly veered into “outside-work-life” territory. I had had a rough day and had been going straight through teaching or with meetings since 8 am (and it was then 4:30 pm), so at some point in the conversation I simply said “how do you do it?” This woman is very dedicated and works incredibly hard. I see her doing such a great job at work and I just didn’t understand – I am barely hanging on sometimes with one child and a husband who is home. I continued my question/comment by saying “I just feel guilty for everything all the time.”
Now, I have been saying this to many people for quite a while now. This whole “guilty-all-the-time-for-everything” thing. And most people I talk to say very nice and well-meaning things like “Don’t feel guilty! There is nothing to feel guilty for” or “You shouldn’t feel guilty at all! You work so hard.” All kind, generous responses, but to be honest, none of them really made me feel much better. But here is what this woman said:
“Oh that? You never get over that – you just feel guilty all the time.”
And you know what? I felt so much better. Because I’m not a drama queen. I’m not bizzare. I don’t have a complex (or at least not about this). I’m just a mom. And our society, with it’s ridiculous expectations of super-moms (and super-teachers) is going to make us feel guilty. I’m going to feel that way – it comes with the parenthood package just like poopy diapers. Somehow this validation and the diaper metaphor makes me feel a whole lot better.
LP cannot stop talking these days. “Goo goo” this and “ga ga” this. I used to think that “goo goo” and “ga ga” were only for cartoon babies, but these sounds encompass LP’s entire vocabulary these days. He is hilarious as he babbles and points at things emphatically. Sometimes we can figure out what he is telling us (which we often think is “hand me that thing I really want because it is super dangerous – and therefore intersting). Other times he engaged in one of his favorite pastimes – pointing out dogs and cats in his books or on our streets. He is fascinated by these furry creatures, much to our poor cat’s chagrin.
LP also continues to run around like a mad man quite often. Last night he just made lap after lap around the recliner in the living room for no apparent reason. It reminded me of when my dog used to race up and down the hallway. LP is also getting better at clean-up time. Sometimes he will put all his legos in the bin – and then about half the time he dumps them all out again. Oh well – baby steps (no pun intended).
LP is a really big fan of miso soup. He can’t get enough of that stuff! He is also getting pretty handy with a fork – he is getting pretty good at stabbing bits of mushroom, bread or whatever other goods are on his tray. Of course sometimes he is more interested in stabbing the food than eating it, but who said food couldn’t be fun too!