I just finished reading Bossypants by Tina Fey. I love her work (30 Rock and SNL) and I heard the book was good. It was a fun and fairly easy read and it was great to get to relax with it on the bus for a few days this week between grading. But the chapter entitled “Juggle This” was really something. Let me give you some of the highlights that made my night (as well as some of thoughts – or “metacognitive notes” as my students would say):
“I will start by saying that I have once or twice been offered a ‘mother of the year’ award by working-mom groups or a mommy magazine, and I always decline. How could they possibly know if I’m a good mother? How can any of us know until the kid is thirty-three and all the personality dust has really settled?” “‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re fucking it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.'”
(On a side note, when was the last time you heard of a guy being asked “how do you do it all?” in reference to work and child care?)
“I would tell myself ‘Once I have the baby full-time to myself, everything will be easier.’ And then it hit me; that day was not coming. This ‘work’ thing was not going away. There was no prolonged stretch of time in sight when it would be just the baby and me. And then I sobbed in my office for 10 minutes.”
Yeah, I’ve done this. Of course, it was holed up in the staff bathroom since that was the only place I could go for three minutes of peace, but same basic idea.
“Of course I’m not supposed to admit that there is a triannual torrential sobbing in my office, because it’s bad for the feminist cause. It makes it harder for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. It makes it harder for other working moms to justify their choice. But I have friends who stay at home with their kids and they also have a triannual sob, so I think we should call it even. I think we should be kind to one another about it. I think we should agree to blame the children.”
Oh yeah. I had the same crying jag at home – the only difference was that there I just straight-up sobbed in front of my five-month old. Hopefully he won’t remember until he has hypno-therapy as an adult.
“Also, there are many moments of my word that are deeply satisfying and fun. And almost as many moments of full-time motherhood that stink like Axe body spray on a brick of bleu cheese.”
Couldn’t have put it better myself.
LP is starting to get the hang of waving. Of course, he only does it when people aren’t looking, and he definitely doesn’t wave when we say “L, wave hello/bye-bye.” (I think that might be my side). But he does flop his hand around when people walk away from him, and he occasionally lets out something that sounds like “hi” if we say “hi” to him first. Also, he has seven teeth fully in, just in time to start munching on spring veggies. Yay!
One more thing: one of the ways that the G-man gets LP to drink his soy milk before bed is to show LP that sloth bear (LP’s favorite stuffed animal) is drinking the milk. Sometimes this results in LP sharing his milk with sloth bear first, then dad/G-man, and then LP takes a sip before the cycle starts over again. This can make getting ready for bed really drag out, but it is super cute!
Pasta is totally a toddler’s best friend. We make a number of pasta dishes in our normal rotation, including garlic and greens pasta and beets and pasta. Last night we had a special treat – Pasta Primavera from The Vegan Table. It was a special treat because the spring veggies are just starting to appear in affordable form. LP was really into the pasta (which we also used to keep him busy while we cooked the veggies) and he sort of enjoyed the zucchini. With all his teeth it is easier to give him things that require some more chewing, so I look forward to more fresh-veggie based dishes for all of us as spring approaches.