Playground First Aid – An Exercise in Contrast (a guest post from the G-man!):
Viewpoint #1: Grandma’s Watch
Two mornings ago LP and I were down at the local park. A few other people were there including two grandparents their ~2yr old granddaughter. Suddenly the grandmother gets kind of flustered and frantic and from across the playground I could tell a little something was the matter. Moments later she whips out her cell and calls (I presume) one of the girls parents. No answer. By this point LP had made his way closer to where they were and the grandmother comes over and asks me (I kid you not), “Do you know what to do for a mosquito bite?” Yes. I do. You leave it the f*** alone and let it get better. Now, I did not say this in so many colorful words, but I did express my opinions on mosquito bite first aid. Besides, she’s a grandmother and in almost cases this means she had kids of her own (who in all likelihood got mosquito bites). I’m also guessing that by her age she had been bitten a few times herself. She explained how she had thought of everything and had prepared for every possible disaster while looking after their granddaughter, but had somehow forgotten the “bug bite kit.” I didn’t even know people had these things lying around, let alone carried them on their person at all times. Anyway, she also brought a few other adults that were at the park into the conversation and was not satisfied with any responses and continued to fret and poke at the poor girls arm where the bite was (clearly not heading my advice). The grandfather, by the way, clearly thought she was nuts and that it was just a mosquito bite and, in all likelihood, she would survive. At one point she even brought up the use of Benadryl, which led us into the discussion of how nobody knew anyone who was allergic (anaphylactically) to mosquito bites. She was, at least, self-aware enough to realize that she was being a little over cautious and even uttered the phase many parents are familiar with: “Not on Grandma’s watch!” At any rate, we eventually left the park (grandmother still all atwitter) and little girls fate is unknown to us. Presumably the little bump on her arm went away within a day so.
Viewpoint #2: Me
Yesterday morning as I preparing LP for a trip to the same park (just one day later…), I noticed that one of his perpetual elbow scabs had been particularly perpetual. The scab was contiguous and comprised of sections in at least three distinct stages of healing (judging by the thickness of said scab sections) due to repeated scrapes in the same place. I debated whether or not to put a bandage on it to protect it but ultimately decided not to. So then we make our way to the park and have our fun. At some point he was running around on the concrete and tripped over his own feet (a very common occurrence). He got up and continued along his merry way without so much as a scoff (also a very common occurrence). But this time, about four of five steps later, he tripped again. Again, he couldn’t have cared less, but I noticed his elbow was bleeding. Yep, the same one I was THIS close to putting a bandage on earlier. Here’s a condensed version of what transpired as expressed by the thoughts that went through my head: “Crap, I TOTALLY should have put that bandage on. Oh well, I’ll just clean him up. Oh wait, I don’t have a tissue or wipe or anything. Crap it’s running down and dripping off his elbow. Hey look! There’s a napkin in the grass over there! It’s not even dirty looking on this end. I’ll just shake the ants off and we’re good to go!” In my defense I only used the napkin to wipe up the blood that was running down his elbow and was careful to keep it away from the actual wound, which was now a brand new as this scrape completely wiped out all previous scabs. And since f***ing parks don’t have water fountains anymore (I think the terrorists are winning) I used his water sippy cup to rinse off the wound and then blotted it with my shirt (which was black, so at least there’s that). And at this point I don’t think it’s even necessary to say that I didn’t have a bandage. So you’re thinking to self, “At least he has enough sense to take the kid home now and properly dress the wound, right?” No. But I did have the sense to leave the park so that he wouldn’t grind an excessive amount of sand into an open wound, which I knew he would. Anyway, we walked to the store first to pick up a few things and then walked home, where I… wait for it… put a bandage on his elbow! Yay! And he only got a minor amount of blood on the stroller. I think I may put a few bandages in my wallet now… or maybe not… I mean he’s still alive, right?
Grandma – Overreacted to something that couldn’t have been prevented and wasn’t even bothering the child.
- Success is seen as preventing the entire world from harming or even touching the grandchild while they are in charge so that the kid can be returned to the parents without so much as a new speck of dust on them.
- Failure is seen as letting a mosquito bite them.
Me – Used trash off of the ground as a first aid kit.
- Success is seen as anything that isn’t failure.
- Failure is seen as a loss of limb or major organ.
Conclusion: I am not a grandmother.
Ok, after that hilarious interlude, vegan mama is back again. This week LP has been enjoying some exciting food. While he has his standard favorites (tofu scramble, crackers, green smoothies) he has also been really enjoying rice noodles and cherry tomatoes. He is also getting a bit too smart for his own good. He has figured out how to hit the “back” button on the CD player, which he does routinely as he tries to find his favorite songs. LP is also getting better at blowing kisses and giving hugs – yay! Finally, we had a great time today as he put leaves and sticks in a bucket and then asked me to help him put the bucket contents in the compost bin. I think he is going to be a little enviromentalist!