All right. I’ll bite. I wasn’t going to engage, since so many other people have written much better commentaries about this (such as Michelle from Moms in Maine) but now I just can’t help myself.
Really Time? I mean, I haven’t read the article yet (waiting for my school librarian to pass it along). And I’m not even really worried about the boob on the cover (but the skinny jeans – that part is a bit more troubling!) It’s the TITLE that gets me.
“Are you mom enough?”
“Are you MOM ENOUGH??” What the hell does that mean?
Sure, I’m into some of the aspects of attachment parenting. I’m excited to breastfeed my second kid longer than my first, and I loved wearing my baby. I don’t think this way of parenting is for everyone, and I have no desire to nurse my three-year-old personally, but I have no problem with people who do (just don’t flaunt your skinny jeans at me!)
But when did parenting become a competition? Especially for mom’s. Let me be clear – my stay-at-home, raise-our-toddler, support-his-whiny-pregnant-wife husband is a freakin’ saint. I don’t know what I would do without him. But all I have to do is tell people that he cooks dinner and they act like he is the most amazing-sounding man they ever heard of (which he is, but for WAY more reasons than that!)
But am I MOM enough? It depends. What is the race course like and what is the finish line? Is it really a competition for doing best by our kids (in which case, how can we compete since all kids need slightly different things?) Or is it a martyr competition – how much of my life, my body, etc. and I willing to give up for my child? The more I give the more points I get!
This competition is as much bullshit as the way we measure our kids against each other.
“Oh, he is walking so good! Mine walked at 8 months, what about yours?”
“Jenny is reading in kindergarten already! What about Sophia?”
Come on people. Turn it off, let it go. Don’t get wrapped up in feeling crappy about yourself or your kid – it doesn’t help anyone. And fight that self-righteous urge to compare your kid (or yourself) to another kid or parent when you think you’re doing better. Because the minute you do, the minute you think your kid is so freakin’ well-behaved, that is the minute they are going to throw the tantrum in the store.
Am I mom enough? Hell yeah I am. I pushed one kid out of my body, and I’m going to do it again. I work my ass off to both provide for my family and make it home in time to spend time with my kid. But these don’t even matter that much.
I love the hell out of my son. And THAT makes me mom enough.
One of LP’s favorite things to do is “help.” He loves to help us stir things in the kitchen, mince veggies with our slap chopper and pulse the food processor. He can pretty much be cajoled into doing anything if we tell him we need “help.” Then, when he is done, he says “big help” and points to himself. It is super cute! Lately he has taken “big help” to another level, by doing whatever he wants (grabbing a cup, taking food of our plates, getting the broom even when we didn’t ask for it, etc.) and then saying “big help” when we tell him to stop. Always looking for a loophole – that is our LP!
Here is a picture of a fantastic white bean pizza from Vegan on the Cheap! We used the white bean spread on it, but topped it with onions, artichoke hearts and kalamata olives (the olives are LP’s favorite!)