Saturday: The Mom Conversation

Vegan Goodness:

Today we ate:

  • Breakfast: Green smoothies and cream of wheat for everyone!
  • Lunch: Leftover soup for Dad and leftover stew for Mom and LP.  Mom and LP also got treats at teh store – Mom got a vegan chocolate chip scone and LP got a bagel, which he then wanted heated in the microwave and topped with butter.  What a little weirdo.
  • Mom and Dad had some peanut butter cookies for a snack.
  • Dinner: Curried Cauliflower Soup (another delicious dish from Color Me Vegan) and biscuits

Money Matters:
Today we spent the following:

  • $41.52 for a pricey Whole Foods run.  We stocked up on soymilk, tempeh, tofutti (it was on sale), popcorn, bananas and Earth Balance butter

Mom Musings:

It happens all the time.  It happened when I ran into two other moms also wearing their baby’s in Ergos at the local coffee shop.  It happened at our first music class in September with the other “mom-with-a-second-baby.”  It happens at the park all the time.  Whenever I am somewhere with a kid (or two) and I see another mom with kids, we exchange something.  Sometimes it is a knowing glance or a slight smile that acknowledges this other member of our not-so-secret parenting society.  Sometimes we get into far more in-depth conversations.  Yesterday I spent 20 minutes discussing baby carriers, solid foods and choosing baby names with a mom of a five month old that I ran into in the middle of Davis Square.  We also discussed our baby’s births and our experience with midwives – but we never introduced ourselves by name.  At the park I have been known to discuss all kinds of things with parents there, including, but not limited to, temper-tantrums, bowel movements, eating habits, discipline plans, work-life balance, breastfeeding, preschool . . . you get the picture.  Sometimes I even learn their names if I see them more than three times.  Otherwise they just become “so-and-so’s Mom.”*

You might be asking yourself “Geeze, did she just single out Mom relationships?  What about Dads?  Especially for this blogger who seems obsessed with so much gender stuff!”  But here is the thing.  I was talking about this to the G-man yesterday after my conversation in Davis Square.  I asked him about what dads talk about when they see other dads.  He looked at me like I had a third head.  “Guys don’t do that!” he said, in what I think is his “masculine” tone.  “What!?” I said incredulously.  “What do you talk about then?”  In response I got a look that had me looking around for that third head.

I can’t generalize at all out my response to other moms or the G-man’s response to other dads.  I’ve always been a more social person – sometimes even too social.  Just ask some of the strangers I have scared away!  But, I did find it interesting to think about how easily I respond to moms out in public.  I think some of my desire to connect with them comes from the fact that, when I had LP, I had a total of two close friends with kids.  Other than that, I was pretty much on my own.  Now that more and more of my friends have babies I don’t need that connection with other moms as much.  But I still seek it out, partially from instinct, but also because I figure there are a couple other moms like me out there who are looking for a little connection too, even if it just on a street corner on a blustery Friday afternoon.  And, as for the dads, I’m going to start making eye contact and reaching out to you too!  Because, even if they can’t dish about their epidural situation, a dad has plenty of insight into which baby carrier is the one to use.

*Interesting note about the park.  The G-man is far more well-known than I am because he is there with LP during the week.  For the first few weeks of summer, when I take LP to the park, I am equally known as “LP’s mom” or “The G-man’s wife.”  Which, I think, puts a hole in his “guys don’t do that” theory.

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