Saturday Mom Musings: Modeling

Delicious Vegan Dish of the Day:

We had friends over for dinner tonight.  The G-man and I made polenta with pesto, mushroom-red wine sauce and carmelized onions with swiss chard.  Our friends brought salad, wine and chocolate cake with coconut-milk ice cream.  Oh, and we made some garlic bread too!

Money Matters:

  • $9.37 for a few groceries
  • $30.00 for a pick-up truck rental
  • $60.00 for 1 1/2 cubic yards of compost for the garden

Mom Musings:

As part of my “Mindful Parenting and Yoga” class I am reading a book about positive discipline and effective parenting techniques.  Much of the book is not new to me – like so many parenting “techniques” things like giving choices, focusing on positives rather than negative, etc. have been around for a while, and been recycled in various parenting books.  However, in the chapter about children’s self-esteem (and how to build it!  not tear it down.  good thing I have this book) there was something that made me sit up and take notice.  Most of the chapter was about things you can say to your child to build their self-esteem, but part of it was what you can do as a parent, for yourself to build your child’s self-esteem.  Now, I know the importance of modeling for your child.  But I’ve been focused on that with things like saying “please,” “thank you,” and avoiding some of my more colorful phrases that I used to throw around without thinking.  This book discussed the importance of being kind to yourself and modeling how your mistakes are learning opportunities.  It made me think about all the times when I call myself an idiot, or say “wow, that was stupid of me” in front of my kids.  It would break my heart if either of them said it, but for some reason it seems ok for me to say it.  Some of that is because I don’t really think I’m an idiot . . . or do I?  There is power in language, and power in naming our actions.  So, I’ve decided to stop calling myself an idiot, or saying “that was dumb” when I screw up.  I’ve decided to try and stop doing this both in front of my children, and also when they are not around.  If I’m going to go to great lengths to cease my swearing and say “please” at every turn in order to show my children how we function in the social world, it only makes sense that I model what it looks like have self-respect as well.  That part starts with me.

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